My addiction means I can't get through the day without taking a cocktail of prescription drugs, including co-codamol, tramadol and diazepam. While on My addiction has destroyed every element of my life, changing me from a warm and loving mother to a detached and sometimes suicidal person. It led to.
I told myself it was because of my fibromyalgia, but I was also battling the mental highs and lows caused by my drug addiction. I'd also worked hard at my job, but reached the point where I had to stop working.
But this pain, far from being a sign of an actual illness, is in fact a withdrawal symptom from the very painkillers I take to keep it at bay.
Dependent: Pauline finds it hard to imagine a time where she won't be a slave to the pills that were supposed to help her.
Drug addict: Pauline Bell takes 26 tablets a day.
I specifically asked for something short-term that wasn't addictive, but I've since learned that diazepam is notoriously addictive.
My personality and appearance were unrecognisable.
Now I was on a cocktail of three drugs a day.
I flew home, convinced I had a virus or food-poisoning, but within an hour of taking my pills the mysterious malaise that had descended over me lifted.
I found myself searching out new sources for my habit, seeking out friends of friends who had a spare prescription I could buy from them and getting in contact with strangers selling black market diazepam online.
But I refused to confront my problem.
I have been on Tramadol for about a year now. I was originally prescribed this evil drug for chronic pelvic pain. Since I was addicted to Vicodin for several years, this seemed like the perfect drug! Non Narcotic (so they say), non addictive (pshhh!), until I realized that if I took a few extra I could get high from it.
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The thrashing in bed at night, serious body aches, I can get crazy angry or anxious. I take very little, stopped and started, but I've taken it so long when I try to stop I get all messed up. I'm afraid. I need help. Basically my my moods have me all messed up so I end up taking a little. Is there hope? Can I get off it and be free? I read where someone was drinking a little vodka at bed time to help.
That was over a year ago and since that time I've been too scared to try quitting on my own again. I no longer have any medical reason to take these pills at all and they now totally dominate my life. I used to be a pretty even keeled person but now I am either in a good energized place when the pills are.
Stop wasting time trying to convince yourself that you shouldn't be having this problem. Your life will be much better very soon if you quit stalling and get help now.
Stop putting it off and go see a counselor that specializes in addiction. Make an appointment now. You can see someone in private practice or you can go to a private or community drug treatment facility and talk to the counselors there about what to do. Then you can figure out what the best course of action is, whether it is going to a rehab or some sort of outpatient approach. It takes professional help and guidance to get off of it. If it's not done right, withdrawal can be very dangerous as well as miserable. There is a right way. You are addicted to a very addictive drug. Communities and often churches have counseling centers you can go to and talk to someone about it.
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Page last updated Nov 02, 2011.
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You'll need help. You can get back to normal, but you'll have to give up the idea that it should be easy to get off Tramadol.
I had no clue how connected it was to the opiate painkillers and benzos that I was using for so many years to control post cancer surgery. As the depression depened, I would cry and sob. I hated the depression for ruining my life, stealing it from me. My husband loved me, but as I withdrew, it caused him to.
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